Anywho, I'm back.....did you miss me? I sure missed you all! And, to show you just how much I missed you, I would like to poke fun at myself. See how truly sorry I am?
I like to call these...."Bless My Heart Moments". We all have moments when we are obviously not the brightest crayons in the box. Well, maybe you don't....but my family sure does! Here's the proof......
Never use kitchen shears to cut the tip off of a tube of krazy glue. As my husband is trying to pry the shears apart, he says to me, "So, tell me, Semi-Happy Homemaker...how did THIS happen?"
Never put the lid of the food processor onto a hot stove. It will melt the lid, and then the lid will not fit correctly, but we are NOT buying a new food processor, because we just bought this food processor less than 2 weeks ago. So, we will just keep this food processor, and spend our time getting frustrated because the stupid lid will not fit correctly!
Never use your bare hands to pull anything out of a hot oven. This will cause lots of uses of colorful language, blisters, whining, and a good amount of "awww, poor baby"....that is, after your wife has gotten up off the floor from laughing.
Never give a 3 year old a marker, pencil, crayon, or any other writing utensil, and expect that she will NOT write on every surface in her room.
If you let your teenager weedeat....do let him know that the plants in your garden are NOT weeds. Even though there is a fence around the garden, and the plant has peppers growing on it....
Don't try to teach your daughter how to hopscotch in flip flops. Or, when you hop, be sure that you actually HOP and don't slide your foot, which WILL result in your flip flop turning under your foot and your knee hitting the concrete resulting in a severely scraped knee, and uses of colorful language in front of your 3 year old. *smile*
When your bride of 1 month says "NO" to dipping during your husband and wife dance to Etta James' "At Last" at your wedding reception in front of 100 people.....for the love of pete, LISTEN! Otherwise, she will spend the remainder of the reception laying on a couch with her leg elevated, in severe pain, and embarrassed beyond belief....because she twisted her knee in the middle of said "dip" and landed on her uncoordinated behind!
Never...EVER...drink coffee while playing with your brand new, less than two weeks old, computer, that your wonderful husband gave you for Christmas. No amount of crying with snot pouring out of your nose, will make that one any better.
Now then, don't you feel better about yourself?
4 comments:
All I can say is that I have NEVER done any of those things. Especially grabbing stuff bare-handed out of a hot oven. Nope, not me! :)
welcome back, cathy!!! i've missed you! was just thinking about you the other day! happy to see that life is continuing to move forward in the same chaotic fashion that is is around here with the four gems!
welcome back!
What a great way to get back into blogging. These were great. And I am hoping that your computer is all better now.
Oh Cathy so good to have you back. I had been missing you and hoped you would return one day. This post is a great example of why. Hilarious.
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